Adieu Spider man !!

Breaking News!!

The fourth installment of Spiderman will be scripted by the writer of this blog. The rumor(of course started by this author himself) has it that it will be the story of young man who inherits his father's powers......oops.......sorry that was inadvertently plagiariased from an Indian masterpiece 'Krish' (which of course this author sat through five times - each time until the interval only).............

Phew........shocking (or disgusting) as the above piece of news might seem to the reader, exactly the same kind of feeling was invading me as I sat in the darkness watching my favourite superhero (I'm being a little hypocritical, Rajinikanth shall always remain my all time favourite super hero) crumble into a heap of disappointment even as the villain of the piece 'Sandman' literally crumbled in a mountain of sand. A successful franchise, an endearing super-hero, a massive budget, maniacal hype - in spite of all this what went wrong?

1) First of all, the action scenes were very very few(quite evident from the restlessness of the kids who were seated in the row front of mine)................Whatever may be the excuse, definitely no one goes to a super hero movie to watch endless bantering and emotional kitsch (I think watching any of the 'K' (or 'Kk'......im not sure) serials would gratify the emotional needs of the viewer)
2) Weak villains are to a super hero movie what a fully clothed heroine is to a Bollywood movie ( a sure recipe to disaster!!). Sandman and Crapman( sorry can't remember the other villain's name) are possibly the weakest villains in recent movie history (possibly the previous one was Vivek Oberoi in 'Kisna'........definition of a villian is slightly altered in this case as there came a stage in that classic when I was rooting for the villain to escape with the heroine!!)
3) Story(or atleast something like it) is needed even for Spidey. Not that I went into the hall expecting a pulsating story with a shocking twist in the end (who knows had our own Night Shyamalan directed Spidey.....in the end it might have been revealed that Spidey was actually a ghost) but atleast you need a basic story to tell even in a super hero movie (now don't tell me Sunny Deol movies have a story)
4) Now Sam Raimi(the director) needs to move on. No I didn't mean he has to get back to make the fifth(or sixth?) installment of that amazing movie 'Evil Dead' (one of those classic movies I grew up watching......). Sam Raimi remained an icon in my view until I saw that iconic horror movie 'Kuch kuch hota hai'...............Anyway simply put Mr.Raimi move away from Spidey.........Harry Potter is waiting for you............
5) Now what needs to be done if Spidey 4 has to be made is to replace the old Tobey Maguire with a young George Clooney and replace the irritable Kirsten Dunst with the beautiful Meryl Streep. Of course the director of my choice would be Christopher Nolan(remember Memento??)

But the only problem is that all his movies begin with the climax (maybe in Spidey 4, Spidey would kill the villain in the first scene and the movie moves backwards from there on..........)
Well at the end of it all, the moral of the story is never watch the third part of any successful movie franchise (remember Terminator 3,Batman 3..........) with the exception of Pirates 3 (can't help this I'm very partial to Johnny Depp movies)..............................